Awaken The Giant Within Pt. 1

In today’s episode we will be hearing Awaken The Giant Within by Tony Robbins. And being a newer book, todays episode will be broken down into smaller excerpts that will allow for a book review and critique.

Have you ever gifted someone a book?

When I graduated high school, I read two books that had a massive impact on my life. Kind of like the golf metaphor, where if you change the angle of your swing just a fraction of an inch the ball flies in a completely different direction. That’s what these books did for me, they were both gifts, and they nudged me in the right direction, and better yet gave me real actionable tools. And yes you guessed it, one of those two is Awaken The Giant Within.

I first read it when I was 18, and I like to reread it every year. Which makes sense, because as my friends know I am an avid student of Tony Robbins. I admire his ability to share with so many people the message of taking back and expanding our personal power, his emphasis on directing our focus, and really the results that this focus produces. People don’t just hear and read this stuff, no! It creates a real impact, a shift, in direction and destiny in the same way as the golf ball.

I’m passionate about today’s reading so I want to get into it as quick as possible, because it helped me so much 6 years ago and can help you me us right now. And to draw a quote from an earlier Outloud With Dixon episode from “As A Man Thinketh” the message of today’s reading is that “we must stand guard at the door of our minds.” We must be alert to our thoughts and environment so that we are not mindlessly pulled around by social forces and trends that don’t have our best interest in mind. We must make consciously directing our attention and focus a priority.

So if taking back your focus, growing your bandwidth of attention sounds like a useful skill, gather around, listen close, and join me as we dive into Tony Robbin’s world of Awaken the Giant Within.

Quote

“It’s your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you’re going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny” (Awaken the Giant Within, p. 40).

So to recap Step 1: Decide what to focus on

Step 2: decide what things mean — and be open and flexible to new interpretations

Step 3: decide what to do about it

And recently I got to put these three steps into practice — I got into a minor argument or altercation or misunderstanding with a coworker. And to get to the heart of it, there was an exchange of words and I got a bit frustrated with him, so rather than make it worse I walked away, but as I walked away I said rather loudly that I wasn’t an idiot.

As I sit down in the passenger seat, he walks around to the driver’s side and looks me in the eye and says “man, if you talk to me like that again we are going to have a serious problem.” And I’m thinking are you f**ing kidding me? You have the balls to blame this on me? To come at me? And the way he said his words its like he was threatening physical violence.

And all I could ask was, I wonder how hard I would have to slam his head into the steering wheel to make the airbag deploy? Not whether I could do it but how hard it would be.

So lets pause right there, and we are going to go into the next reading, and I want you to consider the three steps in the context of this argument 1) how I’m using my focus 2) what does this mean to me 3) what actions and decisions I’m going to take.

And back to the book, Quote

“No matter how prepared you are, there’s one thing I can absolutely guarantee: if you’re on the river of life, it’s likely you are going to hit a few rocks” (Awaken the Giant Within, p. 44).

The key message that I drew from that passage is that we have to use whatever life gives us to the best of our ability. And how do we do that? Remember it’s all about directing our focus, choosing a better meaning or interpretation or perspective, and taking decisive action. And don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten my little argument with a coworker.

So to recap, we’ve exchanged a few words, I mutter something under my breath, he threatens me, and I start to fantasize about throwing him through the steering wheel. All caught up? Good. Let’s break it down and see how the three steps or my three decisions were at play

In this situation I am:

1) focusing on his lack of communication skills and his negative attitude towards me. I am focusing all of my attention on how ridiculous he is acting, and how he needs to get a hold of his emotions.

2) interpreting this to mean that he thinks I am stupid that he is purposefully disrespecting me. To me this means that on future calls we won’t be a team and that I can’t trust him.

3) I am deciding to act out against him, sending him even more negative energy with my words, and meet his aggression with aggression. At this point we are on the fast track to downward spiral; our hate is fueling more hate and the situation is getting worse not better.

This guy who I only met today is already different than I expected so whos to say he wont actually try to hit me or make some other aggressive maneuver? And it’s in moments like these that our training really kicks in, how we have conditioned our focus, how we use our attention, and what type of person we want to be really matters.

And to dive back into the reading, Quote

“But if we fail to direct our own associations to pain or pleasure, we are living no better than animals or machines” (Awaken the Giant Within, p. 60).

Consciously directing pain and pleasure in our own lives. Being in the present moment and deciding what we will focus on, what things mean, and what we are going to do about it. So how did I refrain from fighting my coworker, and how did I begin the process of making our relationship better moving forward?

First, I changed my focus. I redirected my attention from being centered on my partners inadequacy and my feelings of being hurt and disrespected, to quite literally refocusing on his face and seeing how tired he was. Because something I hadn’t mentioned was that right before this shift he had worked a 48 hour shift, meaning he only got about 5 hours of sleep in the last two days.

Realizing and reanalyzing the dark bags under his eyes, the new meaning was that this wasn’t really him at all and that he was sleep deprived and probably was a pretty nice guy in normal circumstances.

It didn’t mean that he thought I was stupid or that he was intentionally being an ass, it just meant that he needed some space. From that perspective, from that new meaning, I was able to make a new decision as to what to do. I didn’t lash out, I didn’t continue to butt heads with him, instead I let him say what he needed to say. In my head I silently forgave him, and I let it go.

Now this might not be the Hollywood explosive ending to the story that you wanted, but its true. I gave him some quiet time to cool off and have space, and then I asked him about his family, if he had any siblings. Turns out he did, a little sister. In fact, he shared with me that the only reason he was working so much is because it was just him and his little sister at home, and he had to make enough money to provide for both of them, and that he really loved her and just wanted to set her up well for a good life. Wow, I like this guy.

I share this story not only because it helps us break down the three steps of focus, meaning and action, but because its real. And if I could give you a gift, if you’ll have it it is this: that our interactions with other humans matter, and that there is always more room for love and presence.

If you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, make sure to share it with a friend or loved one, or as I’ve gotten in the habit of saying Share it with an Enemy! Because our enemies are just our friends in disguise.

And above all else,

Remember,

Live With Presence Confidence and Love